Innocence
by Guardangel1992
Summary: Jake gets Bella pregnant..then leaves...her parents kick her out and she is all alone in the world...then she meets Edward and things start to change...plz review! ok everything is in diary format..thats why they are short.
1. April 9, 2008

April 9, 2008

April 9, 2008

Well today has defiantly not been one of my better days. About 2 months ago, well I kind of did something I should not have,

if you get my drift. If I have to spell it out then I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. And it turns out today that I'm up

at 3 a.m. puking my guts out for no reason. This can only mean one thing, well maybe it could be more then one thing but I'm

pretty sure it's the one I'm dreading most. I'm afraid to say it out load so I'm just gunna avoid it until I'm completely absolutely

positively sure that I'm right. If I am then I'm in for a world of hurt and tears, maybe even some blood involved, but I don't

wanna go there. Well I'll be sure tomorrow after school. Then I'll know if my life is over or not.


	2. April 10, 2008

April 10, 2008

April 10, 2008

Ok so I went straight to the dollar store after school today. I had been dreading it all day long, I was trying to find an excuse

to not go, but could not find a good enough reason not to. I came home with the bag in my hand…bad idea. Mom saw and

asked me what I had…well you see I was smart and also bought a few school supplies just in case. So all I had to do was pull

out some markers and say project and I was off the hook, for now. Ok so here came the hard part, actually taking the test.

Yes I'm actually taking a pregnancy test. Ok so I'm going to take it now so I'll be back in like 5 min. Wish me luck.

* * *

Ok so I must say it takes much longer then the box says it does. The anticipation was killing me. Well I have decided that my

life is officially over…I am for sure pregnant. How could this happen to me? I'm only 14 and we used protection. It was my first

time for God's sake. Damn I'm really screwed this time. If I thought telling my parents that I was suspended from school for 2

days for fighting was bad I can't imagine this. What will Jake say when I tell him he has a son? Jake is my boyfriend if you

have not already guessed. My life has so totally just gone down hill, and I hope it goes back up.


	3. Februaray 2, 2008

February 2, 2008

February 2, 2008

I remember yesterday vividly…it was the day of my first time. Jake and I took our relationship to the next level. This is how it

played out:

* * *

I walked upstairs to his bedroom, his mother wasn't home. I knocked on his door just to make sure he was not "busy". (I had

once walked in on him, which was an interesting conversation afterwards…) I heard him call to come in; I walked into his big

open room. His parents gave him the master bedroom, why? I do not know exactly. But hey I'm not complaining. I liked the

openness… his room always smelled nice. That day it smelled like peanut butter crackers… must have been what he had for

lunch. The walls were a deep shade of red, which clashed with the sparkly blue curtains…it, was all they had in the house, and

the sun was killer with no curtains…The funniest part about his room tho, was probably the floor. Half of it was a deep

mahogany wood, and the other half was an off white carpet lookin thing… He had decided he was gonna put down wood

flooring, but had gotten bored halfway through it and just…stopped…he hung a big disco ball from the ceiling that lit up in

different colors…it was cool in the dark. Ok so his bathroom…it's interesting, that's all I got to say. It's all decked out

in….well….ducks. Everything was duck-like. Even the mirror was shaped like a duck. I think he has some sexuality issues but

he claims he is completely straight. So any ways, I walked over to his side. He was sitting in his big white chair; I put myself

into his arms. He pulled my down onto his lap; I pulled my knees up and let them fall over the side of the chair. We sat there

in silence, then I made the first move…I pulled myself closer to him, then looked into his eyes…he leaned in closer to me, then

I just went for it…(ok so it sounds like we have never kissed before, well we have, but this is really the only way to describe

it.) I kissed him with all I had. When he kissed me back with more force then normal is when I knew that I was going to give

myself to him. It actually happened really fast…before I knew it I was half naked on his bed. Some how while we were kissing

he unbuttoned my shirt and took off my skirt…he still had all his clothing on so now it was my turn. I started by sitting up and

moving myself 2 inches from his face. I teased him a bit before I slid his shirt of his hot body…he laid me back down and

started to kiss my neck. I let my hands wander down his smooth back and through his soft messy hair. He continued to kiss

me, he made his way down to my stomach…that's when I decided it was time to take a bit more off of him…well I guess you

can figure out what went down from there…I must say for a first time…it was pretty damn good. There was a bit of pain but

afterwards…it was a wonderful feeling.

* * *

Any holes that are might have been in my heart were then patched up by his love…


	4. April 11, 2008

April 11, 2008

April 11, 2008

Ok so I went up to Jake today during lunch. Oh how I love my Jake. We have been dating since I was 12, which is 2 years

now. He is brilliant. He has the perfect long dark hair that you just want to reach out and touch. His smile just brightens up my

day no matter how crappy it can get. Oh and my favorite part about him…his eyes. They are this flawless shade of aqua. It's

like diving into a clear pool. Makes my mouth water. God how I hope this baby looks just like him. Ok so anyways, I pulled him

aside during lunch. These were our exact words, I memorized them.

* * *

"Hey baby, what you need from me today?" he asked me as he kissed me.

"I've got some news that you need to hear."

"Oh yeah, well tell me baby. Don't keep me waiting."

"Well here's the thing…remember our little thing 2 months ago?"

"You bet I do. Damn that was the best night of my life" he said pulling me close and taking my hand.

"Well you did use protection right?"

"Shit I used protection…why? What's wrong? Your not….are you?"

"Depends on what…is" I said as I looked down at me feet.

"Shit! Tell me you're joshing me. Please tell me you're joshing." He said as he dropped my hand.

* * *

I started to cry at that point, because I knew it was over. How did I know? Well just by the tone in his perfect voice. The last

thing I remember of that is him walking away after asking for his grandfather's ring back and me just standing there and

watching him go. Maybe he will come around…


	5. April 12, 2008

April 12, 2008

April 12, 2008

Ok so I have to tell my mother soon…but how? I think I'm gunna leave the country then write her a letter…yea that might

work. So I'm going to Alaska…that will be fun. Raise a baby in Alaska. Alaskan baby!! Wow I'm a bit crazy…I think it's the baby

talking. Well I think I agree with you baby. We are moving to Alaska….after I tell my mother. Ok so I'll tell her soon….or not.

Maybe I'll wait till I absolutely have to. Like when I start to get as big as a cow. I'm so not looking forward to that…it took me

a long time to get this body of mine the way I like it….diet pills, personal trainers, and even not eating at all…and now baby…

your screwing it all up.

* * *

Baby I Love You…

Baby You Are Screwing Up My Life…

Baby Go Away…


	6. April 26, 2008

April 26, 2008

April 26, 2008

Ok so I'm not sure how long I'm able to go with out telling my mother…I think I should tell her soon. I think I will right

now….God I'm scared as hell. I don't know how she will react. Maybe I will get lucky and she will be happy…ha-ha yea right.

I'm dead

* * *

"I'm so very disappointed in you Bella…I really do not have any words for you right now. I don't even want to look at you right

now. Just get out of my face…and I mean now." My mother yelled at me."

"Mom….I'm sorry. I really am. It was stupid of me. I didn't think…I let myself get carried away. And we used protection, so I

don't know how this happened. Please talk to me, look at me, SOMETHING!! What do I have to do to show you that I did not

want this for myself? What do I have to do? TELL ME MOTHER! BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!" my

tone got a bit bitchy near the end of my turn."

"BELLA SWAN!! DON'T YOU EVER USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME….DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" she calmed herself "you know

what I want you to do? I want you out

Well I didn't see that coming…hmmmm….where was I to go? I mean I'm only 14. Isn't that Illegal? I have no idea, but I guess

now would be a good time to leave. I walked back to my room to pack my things.

"You have 1 hour to get your stuff and get out of my house…you filthy little slut." She said to me.

Did she just really call me a slut? Wow she is really mad.

"Oh and you just wait till your father hears about this…he will hunt that boy down and shoot him." She was serious about all

of this, it was kinda scary.

* * *

All I had to do now was get my stuff and leave…


	7. April 27, 2008

April 27, 2008

April 27, 2008

Ok so I still am looking for a place to live…right now I'm at my friend's house, Alice; she was the only nice one to let me stay

until I found an apartment somewhere. I really am thinking about going to Alaska… wow I'm crazy. I guess I should try to go

talk to Jake again…maybe he can help me… I mean it is _his_ baby. I wonder if he is thinking about what he did to me…if he

knows all the pain that he has caused me…I used to be innocent…never did anything wrong. And Jake was my little innocent

Jake...

Well he was my little Jake…now he is gone…ok don't cry. I don't need him, nope I'm better off with out him…


	8. May 11, 2008

May 11, 2008

May 11, 2008

It's been 3 months and 1 week since I got pregnant. My tummy is getting bigger…I think I need new clothing…but first I need

a job. I had to drop out of school; boy my parents were not happy to get that phone call. But I'll just school myself…I had a

friend that did it and she became a doctor. So I think I can do it too. I'll be 15 in about 2 weeks, that will be a good thing then

I can go get a job and I can start to pay my rent…I did finally find an apartment…and the owners are letting me live with out

pay until I can get a job. I told them I would pay them back for the free time that they were giving me…but they insisted that

it was ok.

* * *

Oh baby can you believe that in only 6 more months you will be due? I think I want to know what sex you are…but then again

I think I want to be surprised. I've been thinking of baby names for you, baby. If you're a little girl then I think I'll call you

Annalise Michel Dover….and if a little boy I'll name you Mikie Daniel Dover. Do you like them? I hope you do…it took me forever

to think of them. I need to go to the doctor soon…you know just to see if everything is ok…I don't want you to be sick or

something. You may have messed up my life, but I will always love you. It's really not your fault that this has happened…it's

mine and Edward's. If we hadn't of been so stupid, so childish, you wouldn't be here in my stomach, and I wouldn't be here in this

apartment all alone. Well I have you…but your really not here. Then again I think I'm glad you're here…this could be good for

me. I guess I should say thank you to my childishness and my stupidness. Thank you to Jake, and then my parents….thank

you baby.


	9. May 23, 2008

May 23, 2008

May 23, 2008

6 more days of no payment on the apartment…I found a job…I'm going to be working over at a toddlers art studio…this might

help me later on with you, baby, I can also keep up my art skills. They said that they enjoyed my work so much that they

would hold that spot for me…and pay is pretty good. I'll be getting 8 an hour…not bad, could be worse. There is this guy that

works over there…I think he is kinda cute. He is tall, and has blonde hair with red streaks in it. He has bright yellow eyes

made him very different from all the other guys…he had 2 tattoos and a few piercing. The best part is I think he likes me…I

think he said he was 17…so only about 2 years older then me. He talked to me today when I went in to shadow for work…he

asked me if I enjoyed being pregnant. I told him oh yeah it is great…having a 1 pound living being inside you that grows

everyday. Something that makes you have to pee every 5 seconds, or always makes you want to eat the strangest things…

like the other day I was craving sour cream and onion chips with cookies and cream ice cream…wired huh? And the worst part

was how awful you looked every moment of the day…he just laughed and then looked at me with his yellow cat like eyes. And

told me that I looked beautiful…I thought in my mind…'your beautiful'. I think the baby liked him to…because he was calm and

quiet the whole time we were talking…normally he makes me all fidgety and restless. But not at that moment in time…you

know I don't think I ever got that guys name…I'll have to ask next time I see him….maybe he could become a potential

boyfriend…speaking of boyfriends…

* * *

I tried to go talk to Jake the other day…I got all the way to his house and up to his door…I rang the bell…then I ran. I could

not face him. I did not want to know what he would say to me… or what he would do. And I did not want the baby to go

through that as well. I decided that after I ditched his house I would go by the doctors to schedule an appointment…so I'll be

going there for a check up in a few days…I think they are going to call my parents, I truly hope they don't. I do not want to

face them either. I have not talked to either of them…I tried to call but they are 'never home'. Yeah right they just saw the

caller id. Oh well if they don't want to talk its ok with me…or is it? I really do miss my momma…we were close, almost like best

friends. We could talk about anything, well almost anything. And my daddy… I was his little girl…I was his only child so I was

his baby…I did not even get to say goodbye to him that day…and I think that's what hurt me the most…


	10. May 29, 2008

May 29, 2008

May 29, 2008

Today is my 15th birthday!! Wow I'm getting old…I got a few cards from some people in the apartment complex…and one of

them I did not want. It is a letter from the owners of the apartment…

* * *

Dear Bella,

We got a call from your parents today and we have some bad news. We are sorry to inform you that we are going to have to kick you out of the apartment. Your parents have said that they do not sign for the paper work…I am very sorry. We are giving you until the end of this week to get your stuff and get out. If you need any help finding a place to stay you can come to us. I hope everything goes well with you and your baby…oh and happy birthday.

We are very sorry.

Sincerely,

The apartment complex.

* * *

Ok so what do I do now? I am like homeless now. I guess I could go talk to my work and see if I can work full time now…maybe

I could afford some kinda room in some ones house…MAYBE. Well baby this birthday sucks…I will make sure that all your

birthdays are perfect and that you get everything you want…you will be the happiest baby ever. Well I did get 20 from my

neighbor…so I can at least go out and get some food…baby you are making me so hungry all the fucking time. I guess I can

understand though…I have to feed you to. Ok so I guess I should start packing, I only have two days to get out and find a

place to live…I really don't think I could live on the streets…but if I have to then I will make it work. Ok so off to work I go…_ok _

_remember to ask his name…remember to ask for a roof over my head…remember to remember…_

* * *

11:52 p.m.

Ok so I sat down and spoke with my boss and a few of the employees…what's his name was not there today, but I asked one

of my worker friends who he was…his name is Edward…I never saw him as an Edward…I was think Rock or something…silly

huh? I guess I was off…way off. But anyways…they told me to go look into the shelter for single or pregnant moms. So I got

their number and I'll call first thing in the morning…I also got a full time job over there…which is a good thing, I'm going to need

the money to save up for baby stuff…I have no idea what to even shop for…I guess I'll have to ask about that at the shelter…I

also need money for the doctor visits….OH SHIT!! I forgot about my doctor's appointment. Ok so call them in the morning as

well…I need to write these things down…oh wait I did… ha-ha. Ok baby you need to help me remember these things as well…

ok? Ok good. I'm glad we are in this together…I don't know what I would do without you…well yeah I do…me and Edward

would still be together and I would be at home asleep. Sorry baby, I do love you…it's just I miss my old life…but I guess my

new one will be ok…just as long as you don't leave me…I will never leave you, never…


	11. June 2, 2008

June 2, 2008

June 2, 2008

Ok so today is going to be a very long, busy, tiring day. I have a doctor's appointment at 10, an interview with the shelter at

12, and then work right after my interview. I'm 5 months along and I'm finally getting big enough to where people realize I'm

pregnant, I have people come up to me and ask to touch my stomach. It was a little freaky and awkward at first…but then I

just became used to it. It's about 8, so I think it would be best for us to get in the shower, and then head out for the doctor.

Today I will hopefully get to now if you're going to be my little boy, of my little girl...

* * *

Ok so…you, baby, are healthy and growing like you should be, growing like a bug. And the best part is…your going to be my

little Mikie Daniel Dover. Yes you heard me right, you are going to be my cute innocent little baby boy…but I'm sure you

already knew that. I always told my mother that I wanted a little girl…but I never thought I could be so happy knowing that

I'm having a boy. Now we can officially go shopping! And I can tell all my friends at work, and we can have a baby shower

and get free gifts. Wow, baby you have no idea how happy I am right this second. Its like Christmas when I was 7, just

knowing that I was getting some kind of gift…but not knowing how much I would love that gift until it was in my arms. Baby,

you are my gift from heaven, and holding you in my arms will be the one thing I will always remember…

* * *

Well I know also have a place to stay…the shelter told me that they just got in an opening…I feel so much better now

knowing that I'll be able to keep you safe. That you will be around people that love you and can help support you, and most

of all help me through this…because, baby, I can't do it alone.

* * *

I shared your sex with all the people at work today, they all seemed excited and told me that they were going to throw a

baby shower, just for you. Edward was there today…he asked to touch my stomach. Oh, baby, when his hand met my

stomach…it was magic. I just knew that I loved him. We barely know each other, but I still love him. Is that possible? I mean I

guess it is, like me and you, baby, I have not seen your little face but yet I still love you with all my heart. Today I must say

has been a very good day…Edward seemed to be…well…almost like a father. He sat there with me today at work, and just

kept his hand on my stomach or on my hand. It was nice; I have not felt this kind of love before. It was something that I

could not control, but then again I don't think want to control it. I enjoy this feeling to much to try and stop it, as Doris Day

says:

"**Que Sera Sera-Whatever will be, will be"**


End file.
